"Never let life impede on your ability to manifest your dreams. Dig deeper into your dreams and deeper into yourself and believe that anything is possible, and make it happen." - Corin Nemec
Everything in the universe has energy, When you quiet your mind and purposefully drop your intentions; your wants, that list of things your heart desires, into the cosmic consciousness, it is like planting seeds in a garden.
If it is that simple, why isn't everyone doing it? Books and movies like The Secret, E-Squared & The Laws of Attraction have brought this concept to the attention on millions of viewers and readers worldwide. Are we missing something?
We tend to over-think and make it way harder than necessary. Three simple steps;
Seems simple? So where do we go wrong?
1) We don't believe we deserve what we have asked for. One of my favorite debates happened in a class where two participants who strongly believed that the only path to spiritual enlightenment included getting rid of all material things were pitted against fans of Oprah (who clearly hasn't released her material wealth) Deepak Chopra stopped the debate when he pointed out that no one is poorer because Oprah is rich. Nice!
2) We are moving away from what we don't want instead of towards what we want. This is a subtle but extremely important difference. What you focus on gets bigger so if your focus is on what you don't want, chances are that is what you will end up with.
3)Our list of wants isn't really our own list. If your list is filled with items like "my husband will get a raise" or "my son makes the soccer team" you need to do some re-writes. These are gifts for others not things you want for yourself. Generosity is sweet but you can't manifest for others just like you can't feel their pain or think their thoughts.
4)We haven't been specific enough. This one has been my personal downfall more than a few times. I have frequently gotten exactly what I asked for but not what I wanted. As a young girl I used to drive by a certain house in a wealthy neighborhood of my city. I planned to live there. I could imagine myself there with my children. Sure enough as an adult I lived in that exact house. What I didn't ask for (and didn't get) was a happy marriage and joyful home. I thought that just by living there I would be happy. I needed a more specific list!
5)We have attached our happiness to the outcome. The universe treats your attachment to outcome like a needy girlfriend and kicks her to the curb. As soon as your happiness or self-worth is attached to something, it is like a hanging a kick me sign from your butt. Detach. Be patient and be joyful while your dreams are manifesting not when they manifest.
Quick tips for manifesting:
Make a list.
Be very specific.
Keep multiple copies- in your car, in your office, in your wallet
Look at it once a week (preferably before meditating)
Make changes every few months as needed
Detach from the outcome
Behave as though you already have what you want
WE HAVE NOT COME HERE TO TAKE PRISONERS OR TO CONFINE OUR WONDROUS SPIRITS, BUT TO EXPERIENCE EVER AND EVER MORE DEEPLY OUR DIVINE COURAGE, FREEDOM, & LIGHT ~ HAFIZ
Freedom lies in the present moment, the only place where we can let go of patterns that no longer serve us. When we let go of ego, we become open to new opportunities.
Understanding this on a physical level and incorporating it into our daily life are entirely different things!
I have a client whose father walked out on her and her mother when she was seven. She suffered with self-esteem issues throughout her childhood due to her feelings of abandonment. She approaches her adult relationships cautiously with walls up looking for people who might "ditch her" as a friend or partner. She was neither warm nor open and she appeared somewhat snobby because of the way she carried herself. We began working together and she had the gradual realization that she was not attracting the right partners and friendships because of her belief that if you are vulnerable you will get hurt. Once she let go of the self-limiting belief her warmth shone through and shortly after she met the man who would eventually become her husband.
There is the wonderful story of a professor who holds up a glass of water "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
He continued, "And that’s the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on."
I like to ask myself who am I holding on for? Myself or what others think. And then when you have identified something or someone you want to let go of, how do you do it?
Letting go is a little like pulling of a bandage. If you peel is slowly or rip it of quickly, the ultimate result is the same. So why delay your happiness. Let go of the things in your life that no longer serve you and free up some space for all the great things to come!
“When there are no enemies within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”
- African Proverb
Being authentic or honest can refer to relationships with others or how honest we are in interpreting our own feelings and emotions.
Authentic people are not afraid to be themselves in front of others.
Inauthentic people tend to behave the way they presume others expect them to behave.
Authentic people are approachable. Our inner compass tells us we can trust them and that they are people of integrity.
Inauthentic people are less open and approachable. Since they don’t seem to trust themselves our radar goes off and tells us not to trust them either.
Authentic people are interested in others. Really interested. They make great conversationalists or students as they are truly excited by what you have to say.
Inauthentic people are planning the next brilliant thing they are going to say when you stop talking. They interrupt regularly and tend to hijack the conversation in order to seem clever or funny.
“Today you are you that is truer than true. There is nobody else who is you-er than you.” Dr. Seuss
But surely there are times to be less authentic. Those little white lies we tell like “yes I can tell that you lost 10 lbs” or “I think your new haircut is lovely” are really in a grey zone. Is it more correct to tell the truth or to spare someone’s feelings?
This is where we need to come back to our intention as well as the intention of the person asking. If I ask my husband “does this outfit look okay?” I really want to know. He knows me well and knows that I value his honest opinion. Some women ask the same question looking for a confidence booster when they think they look pretty good but want some reassurance.
When we are not authentic we are really sending the message YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH. We are taking others power away by trying to protect them from something we assume they can’t handle or don’t need to hear. Who are you to judge anyone as too weak to handle the truth?
You control your feelings and reactions. In trying to control the feelings and reactions of others, you become a control freak.
And what about lack of disclosure. Where does that fall in the whole truth spectrum? Is it okay to not tell your kids the fish died and replace it with an identical one?
There are no simple black and white answers however here’s a quick list of questions to ponder when deciding how truthful your reply will be.
o what are your values?
o what is important about this to you and why?
o what are your needs and the needs of others involved?
o what are your wants and the wants of others involved?
o what are your interests in this and why?
o what level of intimacy does this relationship have
o what level of intimacy do you want this relationship to have
The second part of the authenticity dilemma, is what happens when our own barometer is so off that we no longer recognize our own likes and dislike? A client I had was the first born daughter of a high achieving family. She was always a people pleaser and liked to smooth things over. She learned to say and do all the things that would please her family and her friends until she had entirely lost the sense of what pleased her. If an average person had an emotional meter that looked like this
ANGRY --------OUT OF SORTS--------SLIGHTLY UNHAPPY-------FINE--------SOMEWHAT HAPPY---- HAPPY
her’s looked like this
ANGRY --------FINE----------------FINE------------------FINE----------------FINE----------------FINE---- HAPPY
When you have this much fine on your emotional radar. You probably aren't really fine and maybe it might be a great time to do a little self examination!
It falls to each individual to set their own moral compass so an excellent exercise is taking time to reflect on authenticity on a regular basis in a meditation or when journaling.
We spend our lives making judgments through every choice we make. Whether it is pizza or pasta, to walk or take the bus or if we should buy Hunter boots or Ilse Jacobson.
"I intend to judge things for myself; to judge wrongly, I think, is more honorable than not to judge at all"
~ Henry James
We define ourselves with judgments like "I'm too fat", "My hair is too thin"or "I'm smart". We define others by judging their handshakes, their choice in overpriced coffee or cars or clothing. What we need to remind ourselves of is
WHEN I JUDGE YOU IT SAYS NOTHING ABOUT YOU AND EVERYTHING ABOUT ME.
If we stop judging judgements as bad and start seeing them as useful indicators, we are on the right path! Everything is perceived as good or bad on the most basic level. That man smiled at me-good. That dog is in a car on a hot day- bad. This job is boring-bad. I got a raise- good.
If you examine this pattern you will see there is always a stimulus (the man, the dog, the job, the raise) and there is always the response (good, bad, bad, good). It's what is in between the stimulus and the response that is really important here; the beliefs we have that help us to formulate good or bad. Losing 5 lbs- good or bad? To me good; I would love to lose 5 lbs. To a cancer patient fighting to keep on weight, bad. Same stimulus, different belief, different response. So you see, there is no correct answer. Just our beliefs coloring our responses.
So if there is not a right or wrong judgment, how do we judge?
IT ALL COMES BACK TO INTENTION.
Is the judgment useful or helpful?
Is it moving you towards something better or limiting your potential?
Is it truly YOUR judgment or is it something you believe because a parent, a peer, or a mentor told you to believe it?
Letting go of judgments that are no longer useful will lighten your spirit and free your mind to new opportunities. So what are you waiting for?
THE ABILITY TO OBSERVE WITHOUT EVALUATING IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF INTELLIGENCE. ~JIDDHU KRISHNAMURTI