With confidence you have won before you start
Confidence is the ability to feel comfortable in your own skin no matter what the universe throws your way. In a recent article I wrote for Lifehack magazine we looked at 22 Things Confident Women Don't Do but today I want to share the traits that confident people have mastered. Moving towards what you want is always more powerful than moving away from what your don't want.
How Many of These Traits of Confident People Do You Embody?
Quick Confidence Boosts
I am totally independent of the opinion of others.
I am beneath no one and no one is beneath me.
I face challenges fearlessly.
When you start to see your worth you will find it harder to be around those who don't.
Dropping object-referral (this means attaching who we are to the stuff we have) and developing self-referral (having an awareness that we are not our thoughts, we are the one thinking the thoughts) is key. Through AWARENESS of your thoughts, ALLOWING & ACCEPTING your thoughts without judgement and GRATITUDE for your awareness you will soon develop the practice of being comfortable with who you are.
Remember to gather evidence every day to support the belief that YOU ARE ENOUGH.
Like what you read? Why not share it with a friend? Happiness is never depleted when you share it. Have a great tip to increase self-confidence? I would love to hear it in the comment section below.
The dictionary defines calm as one of three things
The type of calm I want in my life is a combination of the first two. I want peace. And I want to be in the eye of the storm when it does storm so no matter what is happening I remain unflappable. I want excitement & passion. My wants are specific to me- I encourage you to live your life by design. Spend some time thinking about what you want to feel like and act like in chaotic situations.
Calm is the ability to maintain purpose, intentional living, stability, and serenity despite external stimulus.
Anything that happens in our life is a stimulus. We filter that stimulus through a belief. Dependent on what belief we have we choose a response.
Here's an example. I awaken to a sunny day (stimulus). I like the sun. I have memories of good times at beaches and I like to feel warm. Sun is good. (belief). I feel joyful and I smile. (response) My husband awakened to a rainstorm. (stimulus) He loves the smell of rain, the sound of rain and running in the rain. Rain is good. (belief) He smiles and feels joy (response).
Who is right? We both are.
We choose our belief based on our memories and experience. We control the belief part of the stimulus/belief/response model. Being calm amid chaos is the ability to choose a belief that keeps you from becoming part of the chaos.
Here's another example: I like to be on time. Today I am running late. I can get angry at myself and start my day rushing and frustrated or I can choose to be gentle with myself knowing that the more I rush the more I feel stressed. It doesn't get me there any faster- it just gets me there feeling badly about my ability to be on time.
Five Keys to Calm
To be calm despite chaos we need
The great thing is with practice all of these can be improved.
Click here if you want practical tips on how to manage these steps?
A man of calm is like a shady tree. People who need shelter come to it. - Toba Beta
When you are in the midst of chaos remember a mantra like:
Science shows resilience is a resource not a character trait. Positive emotion grows your resilience. Just another reason to prioritize your happiness.
Moving through a difficult or chaotic time requires confidence, competence, and connectedness. A simple step to begin all three is meditation.
"In the midst of movement & chaos keep the stillness inside you."-Deepak Chopra