The dictionary defines calm as one of three things
The type of calm I want in my life is a combination of the first two. I want peace. And I want to be in the eye of the storm when it does storm so no matter what is happening I remain unflappable. I want excitement & passion. My wants are specific to me- I encourage you to live your life by design. Spend some time thinking about what you want to feel like and act like in chaotic situations.
Calm is the ability to maintain purpose, intentional living, stability, and serenity despite external stimulus.
Anything that happens in our life is a stimulus. We filter that stimulus through a belief. Dependent on what belief we have we choose a response.
Here's an example. I awaken to a sunny day (stimulus). I like the sun. I have memories of good times at beaches and I like to feel warm. Sun is good. (belief). I feel joyful and I smile. (response) My husband awakened to a rainstorm. (stimulus) He loves the smell of rain, the sound of rain and running in the rain. Rain is good. (belief) He smiles and feels joy (response).
Who is right? We both are.
We choose our belief based on our memories and experience. We control the belief part of the stimulus/belief/response model. Being calm amid chaos is the ability to choose a belief that keeps you from becoming part of the chaos.
Here's another example: I like to be on time. Today I am running late. I can get angry at myself and start my day rushing and frustrated or I can choose to be gentle with myself knowing that the more I rush the more I feel stressed. It doesn't get me there any faster- it just gets me there feeling badly about my ability to be on time.
Five Keys to Calm
To be calm despite chaos we need
The great thing is with practice all of these can be improved.
Click here if you want practical tips on how to manage these steps?
A man of calm is like a shady tree. People who need shelter come to it. - Toba Beta
When you are in the midst of chaos remember a mantra like:
Science shows resilience is a resource not a character trait. Positive emotion grows your resilience. Just another reason to prioritize your happiness.
Moving through a difficult or chaotic time requires confidence, competence, and connectedness. A simple step to begin all three is meditation.
"In the midst of movement & chaos keep the stillness inside you."-Deepak Chopra