Parenting is Tough! Kids don't come with a manual and the demands of raising a child who is kind and generous and successful and bilingual with the correct number of vaccinations and the optimal balance of tech savvy and screen-free, WHo balances arts with sports and MAINTAINS college-track grades is completely overwhelming at the best of times.
I'm pretty sure my parents had the goal of keeping me alive. Period. in one generation we have gone from free-range parenting to HELICOPTERING these bubble wrapped genius children who are ready to burn out before middle school.
Child anxiety levels are off the charts.
in 2017 Resilience and grit are the buzzwords of the parenting gurus. but I think it's fair to say that the parent needs to be resilient in order to raise resilient children.
It's funny because so many parents will prioritize teaching skills to their children that they don't yet have themselves.
I have been asked , by an extremely anxious parent, to teach their child meditation to help with anxiety. When i offered to teach the parent, they didn't want to learn!
I can talk about this from first-hand knowledge. When I left my practice marriage, one of the core value differences between me and my ex was that he always put his needs first and I always put my needs last. I was a total martyr who thought that giving up my needs for my children's needs was the best way to show selflessness- wrong! What I have learned was that i was teaching my kids that my needs didn't matter.;That what I wanted wasn't important. That I didn't value myself.
so back to resilience. of course there are cases of INCREDIBLY resilient kids with parents who are fragile. it is possible for a rigid parent to raise a resilient child. I guess the real question is "Why not model resilience for your children?"
What Does it Take to Become More Resilient?
UPenn's positive psychology experts have been teaching resilience to soldiers, to students and to people like you. Learning resilience comes with the added bonuses of
Here are the skills needed to become resilient:
we aren't born resilient, we become resilient. If you want to know more about increasing your resilience, please email me- tamara @ahamoments4u.com.