A client asked me this week if confidence was possible without being seen as arrogant. Good question.
My answer, "confidence wrapped in kindness is never arrogant".
Being highly skilled at what you do is one thing. Having arrogance means you think you are more highly skilled than everyone else or that you know what is best for everyone, not just for yourself.
The question then becomes, if I am highly successful and people see me as arrogant, is that my fault or theirs?
People can have their opinion about you, in fact they always will. Their opinion says nothing about you and everything about them. However if 100 people all think you are arrogant then it might be time to look deeper to see if somehow you are inadvertently giving off an aura of arrogance.
Check your facial resting posture. Do your eyes smile? Does your energy invite people to engage with you? Sometimes having the facial position and body language to match who you are on the inside can take practice.
Watch your language use. Sometimes when you are confident you can use language that makes the listener feel as though you are talking down to them. Avoid "shoulds" when making suggestions to help others. When your advice comes off as a command people tend to view you as abrasive.
Do you listen to others? People who interrupt or, even worse, don't pay attention at all seem like they think they are better than the speaker. Make active listening a priority when communicating.
Are you always rushing? Confidence and success go hand in hand and if you are successful, you're probably busy. The fast pace of your life might seem to others like your time is more valuable than theirs.
Remember kindness goes a long way! I'd love to hear your stories of how seeming over-confident got in the way of a friendship or career goal. If you like this post, please let me know by commenting or sharing it in your social media feed. Happiness is never depleted when you share it.